Introduction:

Have you ever found yourself asking:
“Why do I feel off when nothing is technically wrong?”

It’s a quiet kind of discomfort, not quite burnout, not full-blown crisis. But something feels… disconnected. You’re getting things done. You’re showing up. But deep down, there’s a subtle ache. 

You might find yourself thinking:
“This doesn’t feel like me anymore.”

If that lands, it’s likely not because you’re doing something wrong.
It’s because you’ve drifted out of alignment with what matters most.

This is where values-based alignment becomes more than a nice idea. It becomes the foundation of your peace, confidence, and clarity.

What Does It Mean to Live in Alignment?

Living in alignment means your inner world matches your outer choices. The decisions you make, the boundaries you set, the way you spend your time and energy, they all reflect your deeper truths.

But here’s the catch:
Most of us were never taught to identify or honour our core values.

Instead, we learn to shape-shift. To meet expectations, please others, “be good,” stay productive, be liked. And over time, we start living by someone else’s standards.

Until one day… we realise we’ve lost the map back to ourselves.

The Science Behind Misalignment (Why It Feels So Unsettling)

From a psychological and nervous system perspective, misalignment triggers what’s known as cognitive dissonance. The tension we feel when our actions don’t match our beliefs or inner truth.

Even when things look “fine,” your nervous system registers the mismatch as unsafe. That can show up as:

• Constant second-guessing
  
  

• Low-level anxiety or dread
  
  

• Difficulty making decisions
  
  

• Resentment or burnout (physical or emotional)
  
  

• Emotional numbness or disconnection
  
  

Your body knows when you're not being true to yourself. Even when your mind can’t quite name it.

Spiritually Speaking: Your Soul Craves Integrity

On a soul level, alignment is a sacred act of integrity. Not moral perfection, but wholeness.

When your values are buried beneath obligations, people-pleasing, or old patterns, your inner guidance system gets fuzzy. Your intuition dims. You feel unmoored.

But when you return to your values, you activate a quiet, powerful clarity.
It’s not loud. It’s not forceful.
It just feels right. Like coming home to yourself.

How to Identify Your Core Values (Without Overthinking It)

Forget the long lists. Let’s simplify this.

Ask yourself:

1. When do I feel most like myself?
   Think about moments where you feel energised, honest, proud. Even if the moments are small, acknowledge them.
   
   

2. What deeply bothers me when I see it in others?
   Often, the things that trigger us reveal values being violated (e.g. lack of honesty, integrity, respect).
   
   

3. What would I protect fiercely in someone I love?
   This helps you spot values that matter most to your relationships and sense of safety.
   
   

Some common core values might include:

• Freedom
  
  

• Authenticity
  
  

• Growth
  
  

• Peace
  
  

• Connection
  
  

• Contribution
  
  

• Creativity
  
  

• Trust
  
  

Once you identify a few (3–5 is plenty), the next step is asking:

“Am I living in a way that honours this value? Even in the small, everyday choices?”

Practical Ways to Reclaim Alignment (Even in a Busy Life)

You don’t have to burn everything down to live in alignment.
Here are some gentle, powerful steps you can take:

1. Start With Micro-Actions

Choose one small way to honour one value each day.
E.g.: If peace is a value, pause for two deep breaths before reacting. If growth matters, read one page of a book that stretches you.

2. Use a Values Filter for Decision-Making

Before saying yes or no, ask:
👉 “Does this honour what matters most to me?”
👉 “Am I doing this from love or from fear?”

3. Create a Ritual to Reconnect Daily

Your energy gets pulled in many directions. A simple ritual, like the Worthiness Reset, can help you ground, check in, and realign with what’s true for you. Get your copy here for free.

Want to learn more about setting healthy boundaries and claiming alignment? Read Crush Mental Load: Unlock Work-Life Harmony Today

Final Thought: You Don’t Need to Be Broken to Realign

Most of my clients aren’t in full-blown crisis when they come to me.
They’re aware, capable, and self-reflective. They’ve just lost touch with the core of who they are.

Realignment is often subtle. It happens in whispers, not roars.

✨ It begins the moment you choose to listen to yourself again.
✨ To trust your values again.
✨ To honour your own compass. Even when no one else sees it. Because it doesn’t need to make sense to anyone except you.

And if you’re ready to go deeper into this kind of alignment work, not just in your head, but in your body, your energy, and your life, I’d love to guide you.

With my new NLP qualification I can even help you pin down your values in one session instead of weeks of work. I recently saw one client who had been working with a counsellor on values for months still trying to identify them. NLP clarified them in half an hour. 

Interested in finding out more book a clarity call.

Remember you’re not behind. You’re not lost. You’re realigning. I hope this exploration of values has inspired you on your journey towards personal growth and well-being. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Do you have any insights or personal experiences to share? Feel free to get in touch with your feedback or ideas for future blog posts. Your input is invaluable, and I look forward to engaging with you!